Can't Handle It Anymore
by dinolove453
Summary: PostFinale, CM, RR, PM Joey can’t handle his friend’s happiness anymore, and considers his life worthless… 10 years after finale


Can't handle it anymore

Summary: (PostFinale, CM, RR, PM) Joey can't handle his friend's happiness anymore, and considers his life worthless… (10 years after finale)

(Joey's POV)

I visited Ross and Rachel again today. I don't know why- visiting them makes me so depressed. Visiting Chandler and Monica makes my depressed. Visiting Phoebe and Mike makes my depressed.

I'm depressed.

I haven't had a girlfriend in 9 years, I have a crappy job now that I've quite acting, and my friends live in the other three corners of New York.

I live a lie. When I visit Ross and Rachel, happily married for 9 years now, with their kids Emma and Sarah and Meggie and Anne, I nearly kill myself because I can never have that.

I will never have that.

Emma's 11, Sarah's 7, Meggie's 4, and Anne's only a baby.

They have a wonderful family. Both my parents are dead.

I'm alone.

Monica and Chandler, with Erica and Jack at 10, and they finally managed to have a baby themselves (everyone thought it was a miracle. I called it another thing I'll never have) Joseph (Joseph Robert, so sometimes called Joe Bob as a joke) at 5, I envy them even more now.

Mike and Phoebe. Phoebe, the woman _I_ was supposed to have- I love her, anyway. Phoebe and Mike, with Gary and Kat. More things I'll never have.

I'll never have love. I'll never have a family.

All I have are the Chick and the Duck, who died. They died, and Chandler never told me.

Wonderful friend _he_ is.

And Chick and Duck Jr. are Chandler and Monica's! They even took them because Erica wanted them at home.

I have no life.

I have nothing.

This apartment is falling apart. The ugly naked guy has died.

A complete nutcase lives where Monica and Chandler used to.

I have nothing.

Susan is gone. Ben's in college. He wants to be a paleontologist like his Dad.

Life isn't fair.

I get into my car as I leave Ross and Rachel's, depressed as ever. As I drive, tears roll down my cheeks. I'm 44, and I have nothing. They have everything.

I have no reason to stick around.

I drive to the ocean, and leave my car at the cliff. I stare into the watery abyss that will become my home.

I even got smarter, I studied words and junk, and I have nothing.

I peel off my jacket, and dive.

Wave after wave washes over me. The blackness crawls in.

Soon, it engulfs me.

I'm gone.

* * *

(Rachel's POV)

I laughed as Ross played with the girls. When we got married, we discussed other children. Ross had said immediately that he wanted four girls.

I couldn't argue with that. I wanted that as well. Four girls, all friends, four beautiful girls.

That's what we wanted.

And that's what we have.

They are amazing. Emma is just like me- she looks like me, she acts like me. She likes the things I like.

Sarah is a lot like Monica. Neat and smart. But she looks like me.

Meggie is a ton like Ross. She loves dinosaurs, and over pronounces her words. She even looks like a female version of Ross, and of course prettier. She looks, indeed, like Monica a bit.

Anne… well, Anne is but a baby. We'll have to see about her. We don't know how she's going to look.

Ross pushes Meggie on the swing as she lets out a squeal. Sarah goes on the slide a million times, and Emma plays on the jungle gym. Anne is asleep in my arms. I smile over at Ross, who grins back.

Meggie jumps off the swing and goes to play in the sand box. Ross walks over to me, sitting on the bench and rocking Anne right after breastfeeding.

"Is it just me, or did Joey seem… a little more depressed to you?"

"Yeah. Maybe we should call him?" I asked, reaching carefully over Anne to my purse.

"Sure. I mean, yeah we just saw him an hour ago, but still…" Ross said nervously.

I dialed the number, and was immediately confused. When I hung up, Ross asked me what was up.

"They said that the phone was out of service from being waterlogged," I murmured.

"Did he take a swim with his phone in his pocket?" Ross asked, smirking.

"I don't know…" I murmured, then called Chandler.

"Chandler?" I asked when he picked up.

"Yeah Rache?"

"Have you heard from Joey in the past hour?"

"No…"

"Weird, because his phone is waterlogged."

There was silence over the phone.

"I'm sure he's okay, though," I said reassuringly as I hang up. I played with Ross and the girls, both of our minds a little worried.

* * *

(Chandler's POV)

I smiled over at Monica's sleeping form as she rested, it was 11 PM. I was trying to fall asleep after an exhausting day. Jack and Erica, plus Joe were all rather hyper today.

I tucked a strand of loose hair behind Monica's ear as the phone rang.

"Mr. Chandler Bing?" asked a strange, gruff voice.

"Yeah?"

"This is the National Coast Guard. We found a body floating around in the waters around New York, dead, and found a phone. We unclogged the water from it and called the first person on the list, you."

_Joey_.

"Um… and?" my voice was shaking.

"The phone says the property of Joey Tribiani. Do you know this man?"

"Yes. And he was my… my best friend."

"We're very sorry we couldn't get to him in time. It appears to be suicidal, as he was just floating there, no sign of a struggle. We know its late, but could you come over?"

"Sure, sure, I just need to call some people first," I sighed, ready to cry.

"Okay, it's the New York felicity."

"Okay," I hung up the phone and held my face in my hands, and cried. Monica stirred, and I soon felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Chandler? What's wrong?" she asked sleepily.

"Joey… Joey committed suicide. He drowned himself."

* * *

(Phoebe's POV)

We were all there. It was Joey's funeral, and the other 5 of us were there- Ross, Rachel, Monica, and Chandler. Mike was watching _all_ the kids for us as we paid our respects.

"He died in despair. That's what bugs me. If he had died happy… then I wouldn't be so sad," Monica murmured.

"He did a disservice to us," Ross sighed.

"We loved you, Joe," Chandler sighed, "we loved you. Why?"

(Joey's POV)

I stared down at my friends from above.

_Why, you ask? Because I'm done. _

(1,083 Words) So. Sad. I'm. Crying.


End file.
